I recently reviewed a male patient in his 50s who came to see me as a GP for help with poor sleep quality.
I could tell from his saddened eyes and demeanour that there was much more to this presentation but he was not forthcoming.
I gently asked him about his general well-being including potential life stressors (e.g. at home, work…etc) and he hesitantly and tearfully, shared that he was having marital difficulties and could no longer cope with her menopausal “mood swings” and “rage” so was contemplating separation.
He did not know that I am a menopause specialist too and I was so pleased that our paths had crossed by chance…
It gave me the unique opportunity to explain to him what the perimenopause and menopause are, the many different symptoms (including cognitive and psychological) that women can experience and how these can impact on their ability to function normally and also how this can have an adversely effect many aspects of life, including work and relationships.
BUT THERE IS HOPE!
I advised him that with the right advice, support, lifestyle changes and individualised management plan, his beloved wife could feel like herself again.
I encouraged him to talk to his wife (at the right time) and to ask her how she is (really) feeling and how he could support her, as well as sharing how he is feeling too (at the right time).
I signposted him to educational resources for him and his wife and encouraged him to support his wife to speak to her GP or to see a British Menopause Society accredited menopause specialist (NHS or private).
We also discussed good sleep hygiene measures and psychological support for him and relationship counselling for both of them.
This encounter helped me to consolidate what I already knew – that the menopause is everyone’s concern.
I thought I would share an excellent leaflet created by the charity ‘Menopause Support’ to help men to better understand the menopause: